I sit here at my computer - obviously- wondering at my direction and my life... as we are all wont to do from time to time.  I think about the experiences that have shaped me, not only in a general sense, but in how I react to things, how I feel about things, and of course, how I utilize the information passed onto me.

I would love to say that this blog is going to be full of nothing but awesome happiness, rainbows, unicorns and multi-coloured roses - but that would be a lie and I have a serious issue with lying - even to the nameless masses who may be stumbling upon this blog.

At this point right now, I am in the infancy of trying to get into VO - I am neither a veteran "been trying for 10 years, gotten an odd job here 'n' there..." nor am I a complete neophyte "What?  There is such a thing as voice acting??" - and I have to say that I can't imagine a more vulnerable and scary place to be - that transition between you kinda know and you don't know at all.

Suddenly... I am also now reminded of Mr. Miyagi... and of his squished grape analogy.

Why am I writing this?  Because... I have hopes, and I have dreams, just like anyone who is in this same precarious spot and the only thing I have right now is the ultimate faith that those who have offered to help me and guide me are serious about - well - helping me and guiding me.

I am also in a position to realize (yeah, I'm getting too old for this) that people say a whole lotta stuff... but they don't really truly mean or commit to a whole lotta stuff.  The naive idiot in me though still chooses to believe, and hope, and try.

Society has changed - in the early 2000s it was considered the ultimate insult if someone stood you up (ie: missed a date) or if they blew you off after making arrangements to "totally see you" during a certain time.  Apparently now, this behaviour has a name, called "Ghosting".

It's spread beyond the realm of dating/intimate relationships and to just about every aspect of when a person or persons is supposed to communicate or keep in contact with another person.  I don't mean just "growing apart" either... not "Yeah, John Doe and I just talked more and more infrequently and... now it's been like... 5 years" - I mean a very specific "Let's meet on January 5" - and then suddenly they disappear, or they just wait 'til January 5 goes by and then you see them all over social media hanging out with everyone and everything *except you*.  Oh, yes, btw... ghosting doesn't come with an apology.

This is apparently, in some circles, considered an acceptable way to "not deal" with people.  I suppose I'm just kinda old school, but how is this... in anyway acceptable?  Especially when the ghoster  has built up the hopes and expectations of a person, only to completely disregard them for no reason?  Not even a lame excuse of "hey, gotta cancel... I got... stuff going on."  The ghoster is supposedly totally cool with making another person set aside time for them, specifically set up expectations of communication, negotiation, ie: human interaction... then just... pretends you don't exist.  How is this okay?

Perhaps I could look at this as a really harsh lesson being taught to me to "not trust anyone" and that "no one ever really wants to help a person" and that I have to "fumble through this on my own" - that's the most positive spin I can put on this at the moment... but really... it just feels like a form of pure meanness, and cruelty... it makes a person believe and feel like they are less than a person, that they are not even worth those 5 seconds of your time to say "Hey, I can't make it, sorry".

So - full circle - being ghosted when in this stage of limbo... this vulnerable stage of you're trying so hard, you're working and trying to get as much information as possible and as much guidance as possible so you can do "the thing" right... ghosting is devastating.  It destroys any and all trust or faith that anything can or will work - and on bad days, it makes it feel like there will be active forces to STOP you from succeeding.

In the end, all I have to say is... don't ghost.  It's not cool and it's not nice... also, if you are a ghoster and *you* get ghosted... maybe take a lesson from it?